Saving the best for last (or so you think)

As a true lover of all things edible, eating for me is not just a mere life sustaining act... it is a dance, it is an art, it is, dare I say... love!!! So anything that might taint this act of love is my true enemy. This brings me to the our topic today... the last bite of food. I treasure that last bite of whatever food I may be eating. I am not a haphazard eater, I plan my bites so that the last bite will encompass all of the best that food has to offer me. I examine that burger or burrito and eat around the parts I want to savor as my last bite. I know you may be mocking me to other people right now, but in your hearts you are thinking, "She is brilliant, why have I not been doing this all along?" And to all of you out there, I say it is not too late to start!!! But be warned, there are some last bites in which you will have no control. Let me introduce you to the BABY CARROTS.

Far too often lately I have been enjoying a handful of sweet and succulent baby carrots (mind you I am at work and have only packed myself a limited supply) and every carrot seems to be better than the previous. Impossible, you say? True, I say. But then I reach for that fateful last carrot, take a bite and what do I find? Bitter, awful, disappointment. How is it possible that the one bad carrot in the bunch always manages to elude my hand until the very end of the line, leaving the lasting flavor of YUCK in my mouth instead of the sweet, wonderful memory of all those that preceded it? And it is not just carrots, no! Beware! They have spread this malicious talent to other once wonderful snack items like cherries, strawberries, and blueberries. It is truly a crap shoot out there!!! I truly don't know how to combat this warfare. I have tried leaving that lone piece in the bag, not eating it because I know it will cause misery in the end. But I have to be honest, my will power, not that good. I see food, food was meant to be eaten, and I have always been one to follow rules. And the moment I do, it is as if the food is saying "Told you so" while I am chewing it. Powerless, I tell you. At this point, I wouldn't object to all of the carrots showing up in the bag with a bite taken out them to ensure their quality. Extreme, I do realize, but is that not the job of quality control departments, to make sure I do not end up with a bad taste in my mouth. Though I would not envy the person who had that job. "What do you do for a living?" "Oh, I taste-test carrots all day long." No fun, but everyone has to make a living somehow.

I guess I will have to continue taking those chances in life and continue eating that last bite. That's right, I'm a risk taker. I don't watch life go by, I live it!!! If any of you out there have found a weapon to stop these rebel foods, please let me know. Until then, eat well and prosper!!!