"Let them eat... yogurt."

Today was no different than any other day. Woke up, got ready for work, grabbed some snacks from the kitchen and headed out to start my day. As Mondays go, today was starting out to be a good one. But as I settled in to enjoy my mid morning snack, lemon chiffon yogurt (yumm!), my fantasy-like day was abruptly brought back to reality with a huge SPLAT. The inevitable explosion of yogurt as you break the sealed aluminum barrier. And it always seems to land on everything in sight even though in reality it is only about the size of a nickel. But somehow, it extends beyond the logical range, of course finding a home smack-dab in the middle of my shirt. When did yogurt become so volatile? Is there some vindictive grocery store employee shaking all of the yogurt containers as if they were soda cans before stocking them, making them tiny dairy time-bombs? I don't remember growing up and having to don a SWAT mask prior to opening that ever dangerous container of yogurt. The container should come w/ a built in drop cloth. Or, better yet, the plastic lid should transform into a shield to ensure a safe opening experience. All you inventors out there, I beg of you, find a way to stop these senseless splats of yogurt (and wastes of a perfectly edible bite of yogurt, I might add). Make the world, once again, safe for us yogurt consumers.