Question: What happens when you can't swat at a fly buzzing around your head because your hands are busy treating your patient's knee, and that patient, in an attempt to be helpful, tries to swat the fly for you?
*this might be the time to mention the patient has a slight mental impairment and is being treated for decreased balance and coordination*
Answer: I get slapped across the face.
Two days later...
the patient returns, but today when I am working on her knee... she sits on her hands. I love it!
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Its just like riding a bike
I'm sure everyone has either said this or heard this at some point their lives. It is what we tell someone to imply that whatever activity or adventure they are about to encounter will not be a challenge, the skill will come to them immediately.
Well, the next time someone uses this analogy to me. Whatever activity I was contemplating...I will not be doing it!!!
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Blue sky, warm with a nice cool and refreshing breeze, perfect for a relaxing ride around Mission Bay on a beach cruiser. I was trying to be supportive, helping someone begin training for a 150 mile bike ride. So I think, "sure I'll ride with you to help you train." Now, to get you up to speed, the extent of my bicycling experience involves riding my beach cruiser a few blocks from my house, usually either to the beach or Starbucks. What can I say, I'm a simple girl. So, oh, maybe ten minutes into what I thought would be a leisurely ride, I became very aware of, oh how do I put this gently... MY ASS!!! To be more specific, those two bones you sit on (ichial tuberosities, for all of my colleagues). So, being only one mile into the eleven mile loop (that's right, 5 mph, go ahead call me a slowpoke, you won't offend me) you can imagine how my butt felt as I rolled over every minor crack and bump in the sidewalk at mile eleven. I was sure I would look behind me and see a trail of blood as the bones punctured through the skin. You may laugh, but as I sit here typing this, the pain is almost unbearable. I may have to stand and type the rest. I guess the good news is no muscles in my body are sore so I guess I am not in as bad of shape as I thought last week (suffered from a week of sore calves after walking up about four flights of stairs at a local beach. Actual name of the beach: Stone Steps, my knew loving/hating term for the beach: Steep Steps).
So, as for me, I will be keeping my bike rides functional only! That is to ride to starbucks or the beach. Should I have a lapse in judgement and try to bike around the bay again, be aware, there may be a resulting shortage of Charmin at all local San Diego stores, as I will be requiring extensive padding of the buttocks.
Well, the next time someone uses this analogy to me. Whatever activity I was contemplating...I will not be doing it!!!
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Blue sky, warm with a nice cool and refreshing breeze, perfect for a relaxing ride around Mission Bay on a beach cruiser. I was trying to be supportive, helping someone begin training for a 150 mile bike ride. So I think, "sure I'll ride with you to help you train." Now, to get you up to speed, the extent of my bicycling experience involves riding my beach cruiser a few blocks from my house, usually either to the beach or Starbucks. What can I say, I'm a simple girl. So, oh, maybe ten minutes into what I thought would be a leisurely ride, I became very aware of, oh how do I put this gently... MY ASS!!! To be more specific, those two bones you sit on (ichial tuberosities, for all of my colleagues). So, being only one mile into the eleven mile loop (that's right, 5 mph, go ahead call me a slowpoke, you won't offend me) you can imagine how my butt felt as I rolled over every minor crack and bump in the sidewalk at mile eleven. I was sure I would look behind me and see a trail of blood as the bones punctured through the skin. You may laugh, but as I sit here typing this, the pain is almost unbearable. I may have to stand and type the rest. I guess the good news is no muscles in my body are sore so I guess I am not in as bad of shape as I thought last week (suffered from a week of sore calves after walking up about four flights of stairs at a local beach. Actual name of the beach: Stone Steps, my knew loving/hating term for the beach: Steep Steps).
So, as for me, I will be keeping my bike rides functional only! That is to ride to starbucks or the beach. Should I have a lapse in judgement and try to bike around the bay again, be aware, there may be a resulting shortage of Charmin at all local San Diego stores, as I will be requiring extensive padding of the buttocks.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
It could only happen to me
Many would agree that there is nothing quite as magical as a beautiful, summer, southern California Saturday afternoon at the local park. What would make this day even more memorable and special? Let us add a kite to that equation. Immediately the song from Mary Poppins begins to run through your head (don't be embarassed, the same thing happened to me). Some may even argue that a day at the park is not complete without a kite somewhere in the sky. And I agree, but don't be fooled into thinking that there is no danger involved with flying a kite just because everything was all skipping and laughing for those Banks kids in the movie. For those of you who know me, you know that I am the biggest clutz in the world and if something can happen...it will happen to me. With this, I will reveal the mechanism of my injury. That's right, I am not ashamed to admit that I am limping due to a kite flying accident. (pretty embarassing, huh?)
So I was on a sloped portion of the grass, just below where it begins to level off into the parking lot. As we were trying to launch the kite, I pulled back on the strings and started walking backwards to give the kite more lift (or so I thought in my mind). As I reached the level portion of the grass, I was unaware of the large boulder directly behind me. That's right, straight over it, backwards, ending with my legs sticking straight up in the air (did I mention I was wearing a skirt?) As I was lying there on my back, my legs pointing directly towards the sky and trying to decide between the laughter of embarassment and the tears of pain from the scrapes across the backs of my legs, things got worse. How? you may ask. A car drives up, having witnessed the whole thing, and asks if the wind was so strong that the kite pulled me over. "No" I answered, "I just fell on my own." That's right, folks. I just fall on my own.
So next time you see a kite in the sky, remember that people risk life and limb to get those suckers up in the sky for you to enjoy. As for me, I will be taking up chess. I don't think I can hurt myself playing that game, but who knows?
So I was on a sloped portion of the grass, just below where it begins to level off into the parking lot. As we were trying to launch the kite, I pulled back on the strings and started walking backwards to give the kite more lift (or so I thought in my mind). As I reached the level portion of the grass, I was unaware of the large boulder directly behind me. That's right, straight over it, backwards, ending with my legs sticking straight up in the air (did I mention I was wearing a skirt?) As I was lying there on my back, my legs pointing directly towards the sky and trying to decide between the laughter of embarassment and the tears of pain from the scrapes across the backs of my legs, things got worse. How? you may ask. A car drives up, having witnessed the whole thing, and asks if the wind was so strong that the kite pulled me over. "No" I answered, "I just fell on my own." That's right, folks. I just fall on my own.
So next time you see a kite in the sky, remember that people risk life and limb to get those suckers up in the sky for you to enjoy. As for me, I will be taking up chess. I don't think I can hurt myself playing that game, but who knows?
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